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[21 Jan 2003|06:52pm] |
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Voodoo Glow Skulls |
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Sorry I havent updated here in awhile. Too much has been going on in my life, and it sucks.
I'll try to sum up everything: left my mother's house to move in to my grandma's before Thanksgiving, dropped out of highschool, enrolled in the alternative school, got a server job at IHOP, had to take a piss test for my mother and bombed it for everything except PCP, lost my job at IHOP, got kicked out of my grandma's on New Years, moved into Taylor's up in Norman on New Years, the 6th of January got kicked out of Taylor's, moved into a motel in Earlsboro with 7 friends, got kicked out of there, fucked a Mexican for 2 lines of coke, 2 beers, and $300, got anther motel for a week (there were 8 of us in a 2 bed motel room), left there to live with Bobby Jo, got into a fight with her mother when she was drunk, left there a week later, moved into Megan's for a day, and she kicked me out, I dropped out of the alternative school 3 weeks ago, and I have wandered around the streets since. My mom has been trying to get it court ordered since I left that I go to detox, but uh no. I dont want too, so thats why I would rather be homeless and money less then have to go back to fucking detox.
Chris and I broke up, and tonight I think I lost all love for his mother. They quit smoking weed because I told them I would quit doing my hard drugs, but they also both became psycho's... so back to my coke, heroine, and Jack Daniels everyday routine.
I dont know. Life is so fucked up.
Tomorrow I'm leaving again to find some place to stay... so uh. Yeah. I dont know.
I post more at www.livejournal.com/users/missmalevolence
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| The irony is so think I could slap it with a cloths hanger |
[05 Aug 2002|02:47am] |
Megan and I went to the Wreck Room Friday. I told her I hated the place, but she still wanted to see for herself how horrible it was. (The Wreck Room is basically a teenage, gay club... yeah, yeah. Smirk all you want.) I danced when ever something NOT techno was played, but that was hardly ever. Megan and I left around 2:30 AM (we'd been there since 10:30pm), and drove to my brothers to visit. We stayed there till 4 AM, then went to Denny's, ate dinner, and came home and slept. I finally went to SLEEP! at like 5 something (am)... and it was great. Sleep makes me happy. *nods*
Any who- it was sad. There were about 30 and some odd people there, and half of my friends were part of that thirty, so it shows you how small the club population was that night. I only hand one straight friend there that night, and she left with some scrubby ass looking guy...
The people that went (and their sexuality) *(laughs)* ::
Scott (queer as a three dollar bill)
Vanessa (bisexual - Nikki's ex)
Jennifer (bisexual)
Megan (bisexual)
Nikki (bisexual - Vanessa's ex)
Lee (gay - dating Scott)
Stephanie ( ..."bisexual"... )
Cassidy (bisexual)
Theresa (bisexual - and three months pregnant)
Thresa's GF (bisexual - and dont know her name)
Heather (bisexual)
Evan (queer - and "luffs Trey")
Trey (queer - and dating Evan)
MYSELF (bisexual)
Nikki (the only straight one - poor soul)
Josh (gay - he'll always be alone)
I think that was it, but none the less... Scott is going to start doing drag in 3 weeks; I'm proud of him. :o)
The drag shows (yes, drag queens) we're decent I think. Okay, I could have watched Priscilla Queen of the Desert and been more happy and thrilled at seeing men in makeup then watching Oklahoma's pathetic, home-grown drag queens. Drag queens in OKLAHOMA - Ironic huh?
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[06 Jul 2002|08:07pm] |
Wow. I havent updated here in awhile. I dont know if I mentioned, but I do update my deadjournal account. Go there.
www.deadjournal.com/users/xrazorkandyx
Ive been really busy with my websites. I'm in web-design classes, and yeah. I've also been teaching myself DHTML & JavaScript... so I have my hands full.
*(Grins)*
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| Junior/Senior Prom |
[26 Apr 2002|10:13pm] |
Yep. Thats this year for me; I'm a junior, and tomorrow is Prom. *(UGH)*
I got asked to go by a preppy, Mexican, baseball player. So I went and got my nails done today after school. It was shit. I wanted to leave them black, but I got a french-manicure.
I bought my dress a couple of days ago. Its cute, and revealing. *(Laughs)* My knee-high combat boots are definatly what I'm wearing with it. *(Shrugs)*
Well, yeah. I get my hair done tomorrow after school.
*(Joy?)*
I actually dont want to go. I wasnt planning on going to my Junior Prom, but yeah. Meg likes this guy I'm going with, and she has to work Prom night.
Why is everyone making such a big deal out of PROM?
Its not the Miss American Pagent, or anything I'll remember 10 years from now... so why am I going?
I ate choclate chip cookies my gramma made to help solve this problem... *(grins)*
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| anyone want half a pair of boxers? :o) |
[12 Apr 2002|11:23am] |
today has been a dopey day for me.
besides the whole poncho villa thing, i got home and put on a pair of boxers. well, they looked funky before i put them on, and i didnt look at them again until i was sitting down talking to a friend.
half the leg of one is missing. yes, like *poof* gone. i think the dryer ate it.
so yeah. i have a half a pair of boxers.
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| One reason why you shouldnt get stoned before class... |
[12 Apr 2002|08:01am] |
Today in last hour English, Delilah had asked me if I liked Tony, because she had heard it somewhere. I said ?kinda? and she was like, ?Wow! Go talk to him!?
I told Delilah that him and I had nothing in common, at least not that I knew of, and so she was like, ?Uh. Hmm.? (HERES A LIL? OF THE NOTE HER AND I WERE WRITING): (D=DELILAH, A=ME)
A: Is he Mexican or Indian?
D: UH. I don?t know? Mexican I think.
A: See, him and I really have nothing in common now. What would I say to him if I went over there? ?What?s the going rate for a donkey in Mexico right now??
D: (she laughs): Ask him if he wants a spot of tea?
A: How could I say that with a straight face? (I mock her whole ?spot of tea thing?)
D: Ask him, if? he knows Juan Valdez (the coffee guy) or poncho villa. Their both tacos after all.
A: (I laugh): Uh, no. I can see it now, ?Hi. How are you? Do you want a spot of tea? Yes? Okay. So, I was talking to a friend today about if you knew Boracco or Juan Valdez? Speaking of them, they were both riding donkeys and eating ?poncho villas? last time I saw them.?
I don?t remember any more of the note, but I knew that by the time class was over today, Delilah and I were laughing so loud. Tony and everyone were looking at us, and somehow it came about, that Delilah said something about Poncho Villa being a person.
THE WHOLE TIME I THOUGHT PONCHO VILLA MEANT TACO IN MEXICAN!!
I told Delilah this, and she cracked up again, and everyone started laughing because they had heard what I said. I was laughing so hard that I sat on the floor, and was almost in tears b/c Delilah went around asking Sarah if she wanted to go out after school and get a ?platter of poncho villas.?
So, yeah. Moral of this story: When your friend says Poncho Villa is a TACO, don?t take it literally.
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[09 Apr 2002|08:42am] |
my mum thought today would be a good day to take me to the psycho-therapist.
so. i went. we talked. my mum cried. she said i made her feel like shit. (its always about her. i do this, or i do that. shes never satisfied with me.)
my mum told the guy that my "scars upset her." she felt as if she wasnt a "good parent" and blah blah blah. after all, she "is trying her best."
that guy's diagnonsense: --> "*(nods his head)* maybe i should see you again, we apparently need to talk some more. perhaps, autumn should start wearing a robe around the house. it might help some."
what is he? a fashion consultant or something?
a robe. i have to wear a robe around the house to cover the scars on my arms, shoulders, legs, etc. etc.
its really not as if you SEE any of my scars. i do wear clothes after all...
my scars make my mother feel like a bad parent!
*(laughs)*
yeah. well. after i got home, i went to sleep until seven. i woke up in a bad mood, and was pissed off at everybody. i felt fat (and still do), and i feel like an old fucking woman in this ankle length, terry cloth, bath robe thing. i have a headache, and i feel soooo FAT!!
ive eaten SOOO much today. i had a piece of bread and cheese for breakfast, drank a small strawberry cheesecake shake from sonic at lunch, a piece of bread and cheese when i came home, and some smack ramen noodles for dinner.
thats the most ive eaten since easter. i normally am satisfied with eating once a day. im never hungry anymore, but today has been a binge day or something.
i stepped on the scale, only to have it say i gained 4 pounds. FOUR fucking pounds.
god.
i feel sick. my neck and my head both hurt. im hot in this damn robe. its not raining and i want it to. its stuffy in this house, and i want to go outside and play with the barn cats. im still tired and i got in trouble in american history for making fun of a "preppy" kid.
fuck. i feel sick.
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| i have to much faith in those things called "friends" |
[08 Apr 2002|07:50am] |
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:gets more angry by the moment |
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i have a scar somewhere on my body for every "friend" i have ever loved and lost. some more then one. like heather. i loved her, and i still do. she chose someone over me after 11 fucking years of "friendship".
for those of you who just dont seem to know what a "friend" is:
Main Entry: [1]friend
Pronunciation: 'frend
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English frend, from Old English frEond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frEon to love, frEo free
Date: before 12th century
1 : one attached to another by affection or esteem
4 : a favored companion
a favored companion. favored, meaning yeah. favored. you would rather be with that person then another person. you favor being around them. their probably interesting, and if you just met them, you'd like to get to know them better. yeah, favored. appropriate enough.
friends arnt supposed to make you cry, at least not on purpose. their not supposed to cause pain, and their supposed to care about you. or wait, is this how the whole "friendship" thing works in oklahoma? oklahoma is bass-ackwards, and most people here dont know there ass from a fucking hole in the ground.
speaking of purpose, what IS the purpose of a friend?
I GOTS THA ANSWER! I GOTS THA ANSWER!
they dont serve a fucking purpose! esp. those who call themselves "friends" but end up being two faced assholes. i seem to run into a lot of "friends" like that in oklahoma.... no names mentioned b.
maybe im just putting myself out by putting to much emphasis on this whole friendship thing. i hold to much faith in people. unfortunately.
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| why do i....? :o| |
[08 Apr 2002|07:10am] |
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skinny puppy |
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why do i even care about anyone else?
its really not as if they care about me. most of them probably find me annoying.
why do i offer to go see people who live THREE AND A HALF fucking hours away from me? why do i offer to pick them up and take them places? hell, im sure i could be doing better things. its just that i actually enjoy their company.
why do i give "internet *(HUGGZ)*" to people who dont even give a fuck about me? i do care about them. a lot, but i guess the feeling is a unilateral kind of thing. they do often return the *(HUGGZ)*, but if they dont mean it, then i wish they wouldnt.
why am i always the one who has to start the conversation by im'ing them, or calling them?
well, i actually have had it. im just going to stop. if they dont talk to me, i wont talk to them. if they ask me to go visit them, i'll simply say "i have better things to do."
fuck going and picking them up. they are apparently not worth any ounce of my time.
im sure all of the people that this applies too, and whom might actually read it will think its not them; because their just "such good friends."
you know what? im sure it does apply to you, so FUCK YOU. I DONT NEED YOU AS A "FRIEND".
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| I'm so happpiieeee! |
[06 Apr 2002|07:04pm] |
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Hurt- Nine Inch Nails |
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Yes, yes. I'm happy! (No medication required).
I did quit smoking, for four days... but yeah. Bad habits are hard to break.
Anyways, I'm happy. Why? *(Heh Heh)* I've lost about 18 pounds, and a couple of pants sizes. *(Whoot)*
*(GRINS)*
I thought it couldnt be done, but I did it! Almost 20 pounds! I've been exercising, taking pills, and praying. (Yep, praying)
All things are possible. I realized that. :o)
Its great. I'm happy.
Actually, beyond happy.. I'm cha-pow! Yeah, that.
*(Grins)*
:o)
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[05 Apr 2002|11:17pm] |
I really dislike people right now. *(Le sigh)*
Esp. people who have control over my emotions. I really really hate that. They always use that to their advantage, always.
This is why I'm a fucking nutcase!!!!!! People use me, which in turn makes me even more depressed then I was/am. Basically, I get put on more medication, I'll get better, someone will hurt me, then the whole cycle starts over.
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| something i found a few months ago... |
[01 Apr 2002|12:27am] |
The Boy who Questioned God
There was once a boy who questioned his god
He questioned the things in his life from abroad
"I know you're not there!" He said with a grin,
"I know there's no Heaven! I know there's no sin!"
To prove the boys thought,
He yelled and he fought.
"I will kill myself now!
Right on this damn spot!"
"I will not go to Heaven; I will not got to Hell.
I wont go to a place that you've tried to sell"
"And when I do die, my soul will not fly!
Only black will I see, you cant control me!"
So the boy took a rope
Tied it up off a slope
Without wimper nor mope
He jumped with all hope.
He gagged and he choked
And his body did bloat
But the boy did not die
So he began to cry
The sky filled with clouds
And the dark fell away
The boy looked to the sky
As he heard a voice say
"I'm your Father all mighty.
Your sin is a crime.
I'm sorry my son,
But its just not your time."
"Bullshit!" said the boy
Who gagged on his blood.
His fists clenched with anger
And sat up from the mud.
"I know you're not there
And I don't fucking care!
I know how I'll die,
I'll get mauled by a bear!"
So all covered with honey
And dripping with blood,
He found a black bear,
That he taunted and shoved.
The bear reared up his claws
And came crashing down.
The boy felt a pinch,
As his arm hit the ground.
Hours then passed
And the bear ran away
The boys blood all ran out
But his life still did stay
"Why the Hell cant I die?!"
The boy yelled to the sky.
"I will fucking beat you,
You MR.GOD guy!!"
"I told you before.
My voice I made chime.
But I'm sorry my son,
Its just not your time."
"You're not my damn Father.
I'm not your damn son!
I got mauled by a bear,
But my blood stopped to run."
He loaded his gun.
Took his last living breath.
Pushed it hard to his head,
Welcoming death.
"I will die this time,
I will make you see!"
His brains did blow backward,
But the boys soul did not flee.
"Damn you, you God man.
Damn you to Hell.
You sit there all big,
Like your shit doesn't smell."
So the boy flipped God off,
Said "Suck my fat bladder"
Took just one step,
And slipped on grey matter.
Down did the boy tumble,
All mangled and rotty.
Hit his chin on a rock,
And his soul left his body.
And soon after he stood,
Beside the all mighty.
With his body aglow,
In one peace and all tidy.
"Oh shit!" said the boy.
He started to choke.
"All the things that I said man,
They were all just a joke!"
"I know that you're sorry.
I know you mean well.
But repent to me now,
Or face life in Hell."
"Life in Hell?" said the boy,
With a small funny grin.
"Never heard of the place,"
And he laughed once again.
"This is your last chance.
Please son, don't be dumb.
One chance to repent,
Or damnation will come."
"Fuck you, MR. GOD MAN!
Mr. My shit still don't smell.
There is no such thing,
As this damn place you call Hell!"
And off with a pout,
And a small subtle glow.
The boy traveled down,
To the fires below.
His butt was cut off,
And tossed to the gays.
His limbs were de-boned,
And he was beaten for days.
But over the screams,
You could hear the boys fit.
Writhing and screaming,
"I still don't believe shit!"
THE END
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| i feel as if epiphany would be the word.... |
[31 Mar 2002|11:55pm] |
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I feel as if I should write this before you read it. It seems at any point that I?m asking for pity, but in no way am I actually trying to get you to feel pity on me. I hate pity. I feel like a charity case then, which I am not. I?m just simply trying to vent what I feel right now in as little as words possible, but when there are no words, you ramble as I have am about to do. If at point, when your reading this, do you feel pity, or you feel as if I am extremely stupid, then PLEASE stop reading this. For your sake and mine. (People suffer from stupidity only because they are not informed, and if you judge a book by its cover, your suffering sweetheart.)
Today has probably been one of the best and worst days of my life.
This morning was great. I went to a gathering last night in Tulsa, and we were all still there this morning, most of whom were still drunk or finally going to sleep, but it was great none-the-less.
Then I went home. Back to Shawnee fucking JOKE-LA-HOMA, and I have felt like a piece of shit all day since leaving. I have been in this very fragile emotional state to where everything about my life, who I am, my friends, and where I live saddens me to a great extreme.
For the first time in my life, I cried about living in Shawnee. Normally, this wouldn?t have been such a bother to me, but after last night, I basically realized I?m in the wrong place. I?m not the kind of person for a place like Shawnee. I do not fit in, and I don?t strive to. That?s what makes my life so hard. I have been trying so hard to please people, and it?s a known fact that you cant please the masses, so why try?
I don?t care about anyone but my family and Megan in Shawnee, but when someone doesn?t like me because of the simple way I look, it makes me displeased. It makes me feel as if I should try just a little harder in school, or just try harder at anything in general. I eventually push myself to the edge of sanity, and I get violent. Megan has been there a few times when that has happened. She has the holes in the walls of her house as proof that I am not emotionally stable at times. Hardly ever am I anymore.
I don?t know anything about myself anymore. I was very well aware of whom I was when I went to Tulsa, but I came home feeling out of place in Shawnee. I cannot stress enough how much I hate Shawnee with a big, purple passion. I guess it doesn?t matter though. All I can try to do is better the situation, which I can?t do for seven more months. Seven whole months! I honestly do not think I will survive it.
I have decided that I don?t like the way I am. I?m not talking about appearance wise that much. I just don?t like some of the habits I have, and who I have become. I?m making a promise, which I am going to stick to, that I?m going to become a better person in those seven months I have here. Not for everyone else, but for myself, because I?m unhappy of what I am, or who I have become. I?m sick of the fact that I smoke. I have smoked for five years, and I am concerned about my health. I?m also over-weight, at least by 35 pounds, and that isn?t very healthy either. I drink. I use drugs, and I think I have lost the only Father figure I ever had, although I didn?t claim him at times. YES, I am a Christian, and I use to be so proud of it. But recently, I have neglected my Father, and I feel horrible. I need to get back in touch with Christ, because when I am focused on him, I?m happier. My mother and grandmother even agree.
There isn?t much left to say, without me making myself out to be a bigger fool then I already am, so I will stop talking now.
I went to this party in Tulsa to have fun, but came home feeling like shit.
Everything happens for a reason that, at least I am sure of.
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[28 Mar 2002|02:09am] |
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Eva O. Gitane Demone |
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I have finally done it... I have learned to accept myself the way I am. I am no longer a skinny lil' brat, but now a buffalo sized brat. I still wish to be skinny again when I see some girl that small and attractive, but oh well. Shit happens. You fall in "love" with a guy, and irreversable mistakes are made.
Whos to say that what happens, doesnt happen for a reason?
Maybe I got bigger for a reason (besides the obvious ones).
*(shrugs)*
I dont know. BUT! I do know I have lost 7 1/2 pounds. Although it doesnt look or feel like it. But thats okay. I probably gained it back when I ate that vanilla ice-cream earlier. *(UGH)*
David still likes me. Dont guys ever give up?
Im not attracted to him, at least I dont think I am. He's actually rather annoying, and still finds it amusing to stalk me. His friends are pretty much annoying as well. For example, when I walk into a class that David has, his friends are like, "DAVID! DAVID! There she is." (They move their heads in my direction, while he gets embarassed and looks away).
Im not that special. I shouldnt have to announced into a room, and esp. as "she". I am a female, but I do also OWN a name.
God.
In other news, I painted my nails whore red. It looks good. My opinion though.
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| more of muh ranting... |
[28 Mar 2002|01:53am] |
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In Broken Arrow, Oklahoma (fuck Oklahoma), school officials removed "God Bless America" signs from schools in fear that someone
might be offended.
On Channel 12 News in Long Island, New York, they ordered flags
removed from the newsroom and red, white, and blue ribbons
removed from the lapels of reporters. Why? Because Americans are idiots. (No really). Management did not want to appear biased and felt that our nations flag might give the appearance that "they lean one way or another". *(THUMP!)* (QUOTES: "Its America STOOPID!")
In Berkeley, California they baned the U.S. Flags from being displayed on city fire trucks because they didn't want to offend anyone in the community, like uh.. who? Other Americans?
In an "act of tolerance" the head of the public library at Florida Gulf Coast University ordered all "Proud to be an American" signs removed so as to not offend international students.
I, for one, am quite disturbed by these actions of so-called American citizens; and I am tired of this bullshit! This a is nation worrying
about whether or not we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on September 11, might I add it took something like THAT for Americans to "come together", we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled in New York and Washington D.C. when the "politically
correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that
our patriotism was offending others.
I am not against immigration (yet), nor do I hold a grudge against
anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. In fact, our country's population is almost entirely compromised of descendants of immigrants; however, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some native Americans, need to understand.
First of all, it is not our responsibility to continually try and
not to offend you in any way. This idea of America being a multi-cultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language, and our own lifestyle. This culture, called the "American Way" has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by
millions of men and women who have sought freedom. Our forefathers fought, bled, and died at places such as Bunker Hill, Antietam, San Juan, Iwo Jima, Normandy, Korea, and Vietnam.
We speak English, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society - learn our language!
"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some off-the-wall, Christian, Right Wing, political slogan - it is our national motto. It is engraved in stone in the House of Representatives in our Capitol and it is printed on our currency (which is something I never have). We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles might I add, founded this nation; and this is clearly documented throughout our history. If it is appropriate for our motto to be inscribed in the halls of our
highest level of Government, then it is certainly appropriate
to display it on the walls of our schools.
God is in our pledge, our National Anthem, nearly every patriotic song, and in our founding documents. We honor His sons birth, death, and resurrection as holidays, and we turn to Him in prayer in times of crisis. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture and we (at least I am) are proud to have Him.
We are proud of our heritage and those who have so honorably defended our freedoms. We celebrate Independence Day, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Flag Day. We have parades, picnics, and barbecues where we proudly wave our flag. As an American, I have the right to wave my flag (even though I dont own one), sing my national anthem (although I dont know most of it), quote my national motto (I dont know our motto either?), and cite my pledge whenever and wherever I choose. If the Stars and Stripes offend you, or
you don't like Uncle Sam (he is kind of scary...), then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. Or Neptune. Its approx 4,489,000,000 km to the Stratosphere, so go there.. and head on over to Neptune. I hear the weather is nice this time of year. Hardly any BIG flying rocks circling it.
The American culture is our way of life, our heritage, and we
are proud of it (sometimes). We are happy with our culture and have no
desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from (at least I dont). We are Americans, like it or not, this is our country, our land, and our lifestyle.
Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion about our government, culture, or society, and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done bitching about our flag, our
pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great American freedom, the right to leave.
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| an email from muh granny... |
[19 Feb 2002|10:29pm] |
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall when a
much younger man walked up to the bench and sat down. The
young man had spiked hair in all different colors: green,
red, orange, blue, yellow.
The old man stared intently at the young man until he could stand it no longer.
Sarcastically, the young man finally blurted out, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?!"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk
once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
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[22 Jan 2002|11:31pm] |
*(yawn)*
i really have nothing interesting to say... i dont think?
oh, yeah. im going to ireland, scotland, and england this summer (with my mom & gramma)... and megan if she ever gets her ass in gear and gets some $$$$.
i dont want to go!!! for one, ireland is home of the "l-word"... *(shudder)*
and second, i have to be on a flight for 10 hours (overnight) to london! i hate airplanes. i think it may be the thought of being in a metal tube, 1000's of miles off the ground.
shit.
gawd. i just popped my back, now i feel like im going to throw up.
maybe i'll just smoke and this sick feeling with deminish.
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[27 Dec 2001|12:33pm] |
christmas is over... *(heh)*
i got a bunch of shit, and a bunch of wasted space from megan. i also set my damn trashcan on fire with a cigarette. *(oops)*
it wasnt really my fault that my cat jumped on the desk and scared me... (which then lead me to flick my cherry off my cig. and into the trash) like i said, *(opps)*
everyone loves me. remember, i love me too.
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[30 Nov 2001|09:03pm] |
damn. the realization of not knowing the future hit me a few days ago. my words of wisedom- you may not know what the future holds, but knowing who holds the future makes all the difference. *(grins)*
peace out muh ravuhs... *(laughs)* j/k
*(kizzes and huggles to muh suga's though!!)*
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[25 Nov 2001|01:10pm] |
Subj: read
Date: 11/11/01 9:04:46 PM Central Standard Time
From: *****
To: GloomCookie420@aol.com
Did you see where Billy Graham's daughter was being interviewed on the Early Show a few days ago about the September 11th terrorist attack and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?"
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said "I believe that God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman that He is, I believe that He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand that He leave us alone?"
Let's see, I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body was found recently) complained she didn't want any prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then, someone said you better not read the Bible in school... the Bible that says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said, OK.
Then, Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide) And we said, an expert should know what he's talking about so we said OK. Then, someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued(There's big difference between disciplining and touching, beating, smacking, humiliating, kicking, etc.) And we said, OK.
Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said, OK. Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they're going to do it anyway, let's give our sons all the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said, OK. Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. And agreeing with them, we said it doesn't matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long as I have a job and the economy is good. And then someone said let's print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome, down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said, OK.
And then someone else took that appreciation a step further and published pictures of nude children and then stepped further still by making them available on the internet. And we said OK, they're entitled to their free speech.
And then the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex. And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes. And we said it's just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.
I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." Then there was the student who wrote "Dear God, Why didn't you save the little girl killed in her classroom? " Sincerely, Concerned Student... AND THE REPLY "Dear Concerned Student, I am not allowed in schools". Sincerely, God.
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan who, by the way, also "believes" in God.
Funny how we are quick to judge but not to be judged. Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week.
Are you laughing yet??
Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.
Are you thinking yet???
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